Why Your Mind Prioritizes Escape Over Growth

Let me tell you a story that might change how you think about your struggles.

Imagine you're walking through a field one day. In the distance, you see your favorite fruit growing on a tree or a vine, beautiful, ripe, exactly what you love. Someone comes up beside you and asks, "What do you want to do right now? What do you want?"

Most likely, if there's nothing else demanding your attention, you'll say, "I want to move towards that fruit tree. I want to get some fruit." That's what we call a towards move, moving in the direction of something you value, something you want.

Now let me paint a completely different scenario.

Imagine you're still walking through a field

When Everything Changes: The Well

Imagine you're still walking through a field, but this time, you've fallen into a pit. You've tumbled into a deep well of water, and you're treading frantically to stay afloat. The same person appears at the edge and asks, "Hey, what would you like right now?"

Pretty sure that in that moment, you're not going to say, "I'd like some fruit."

Most people are going to say, "I want a rope! Get me out of this well!"

And that makes complete sense, doesn't it? Getting out of wells absolutely should be prioritized over moving towards fruit trees in that particular moment. When there's genuine danger, when you're literally struggling to survive, your mind is doing exactly what it should, focusing all your energy on escaping the threat.

No one would argue with that logic. It's survival. It's necessary.

The Problem: When Your Mind Can't Tell the Difference

Here's where things get tricky, and this is what I really want you to understand.

While it makes complete sense for our minds to prioritize escaping what is dangerous over pursuing what is important in a literally threatening situation, an actual well, a real fire, a physical danger, it doesn't make as much sense in the internal world.

Your mind doesn't distinguish very well between external threats and internal ones.

Think about it. Your brain treats the fear of judgment at a social gathering much like it would treat a crocodile in a field. It responds to the anxiety of an uncertain future similarly to how it would respond to standing at the edge of a cliff. The feeling of vulnerability in a relationship can trigger the same alarm bells as being trapped in an actual well.

These internal experiences, anxiety, uncertainty, fear of rejection, vulnerability, self-doubt, become internal wells. And just like with the physical well, your mind immediately shifts into escape mode. It overrides your ability to move towards the fruit (what you value, what matters to you) and instead prioritizes getting out of the well (avoiding the uncomfortable feeling).

The Catch: You Can Never Fully Escape Internal Wells

Here's the critical difference between actual wells and internal ones: you can escape a physical well. Once you're out, you're out. You can walk away, and that particular danger is behind you.

But internal wells? They follow you.

You might avoid a social gathering to escape the fear of judgment, and in that moment, you feel relief. The anxiety subsides. You've "escaped the well." But what happens at the next social opportunity? The fear returns. The well is there again.

You might scroll endlessly through information to avoid the discomfort of uncertainty, trying to know everything, control everything, predict everything. But uncertainty doesn't disappear, it's part of being human. The well refills.

You might people-please your way out of potential conflict to avoid rejection. It works temporarily. But the next situation where someone might disapprove? There's the well again, and you're right back in it.

If our only strategy for handling these internal experiences is avoidance, getting out of the well, escaping the discomfort, we end up spending our entire lives in escape mode. We organize our choices around what we're trying to avoid rather than what we're trying to move towards.

And here's what happens: our lives get smaller. The fruit trees get further away. We spend so much energy avoiding wells that we forget what we wanted the fruit for in the first place.

A Different Approach: Understanding How Your Mind Prioritizes Escape

What if, instead of spending your life trying to escape internal wells, you learned to move towards the fruit while carrying the discomfort?

What if you could feel anxious and still go to the social gathering? Feel uncertain and still make important decisions? Feel vulnerable and still open up in relationships?

This isn't about positive thinking or "just getting over it." It's about recognizing that while your mind will always prioritize escape in the presence of discomfort, you don't have to let that dictate your choices.

You can acknowledge the well, "Yes, I feel anxious. Yes, this is uncomfortable" and still choose to move towards what matters. The anxiety doesn't have to be eliminated before you can live meaningfully.

At The Harvest Clinic, we work with people to identify what fruit they want to move towards, what truly matters in their lives and develop the skills to handle internal wells without being controlled by them. Because avoiding what you don't want will never produce what you do want.

Avoiding wells doesn't produce fruit.

Ready to stop organizing your life around avoiding discomfort and start moving towards what truly matters? Book an appointment with us today and discover how to carry the water while growing your fruit.

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