In the realm of therapy, the concept of "self-as-context" plays a transformative role in helping individuals step outside their unworkable self-stories. This concept invites a mindful approach, one where we recognize the difference between who we are and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. It encourages us to step back, hold space for our experiences, and align our actions with our values.
Workability Over Judgment
A key idea here is to focus on workability rather than judgment. Instead of labeling our conceptualized self as "good" or "bad," the question becomes:
"How is it working for you, when you look at your values, to hold onto this story of yourself?"
This question shifts the perspective from self-criticism to a curious exploration of whether our internal narratives are serving us.
For example, think of a “Salsa Dancing Husband” who might tell himself the story, “I’m not the kind of person who dances in public.” While this story may feel deeply ingrained, it could also prevent him from experiencing joy, connection, and fulfillment, values that might matter to him. The goal isn't to label his story as "bad" but to explore whether clinging to it aligns with what he truly values.
Practical Applications in Therapy - Self-as-context
Therapists can help clients notice when they are fused with an unworkable self-story. Fusion occurs when an individual becomes so entangled in their story that it dictates their actions and limits their ability to respond flexibly to life's demands.
Here are some practical steps:
Notice the Fusion: Explore how being fused with an unworkable story impacts their life in relation to their values. For instance, does holding onto this narrative bring them closer to or further from the person they want to be?
Invite a Shift in Perspective: Through mindfulness exercises, clients can experience that while they may come into close contact with their story, they are not their story. They can hold the narrative, see it for what it is, and decide not to give it the steering wheel if it's not working for them.
This approach creates a space where clients can re-engage with their values and choose actions that align with their deeper intentions, rather than being controlled by limiting self-perceptions.
Holding the Puzzle Without Solving It
A helpful metaphor for this exercise is a puzzle piece. Imagine holding a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You can observe it, acknowledge its role in the bigger picture, and yet recognize that it doesn’t define the entire puzzle. Similarly, clients can hold their self-stories without being defined by them, creating room for new possibilities.
In Conclusion
The self-as-context mindfulness exercise is a liberating practice. It reminds us that we are not the stories we carry but the context within which these stories exist. By fostering awareness and prioritizing workability, we can step into a more empowered and values-driven life.
If you're ready to explore this concept further, reach out to a therapist trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to guide you on this meaningful journey.
Here is a Practical Exercise on Self-As-Context video below to Understanding Self-as-Context
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