We all have stories we tell ourselves—narratives shaped by our experiences, upbringing, and beliefs. These stories can be so powerful that they shape how we see the world, and more importantly, how we see ourselves. But what if these stories, rather than empowering us, are holding us back?
How Stories Block Out Reality
The stories we hold about ourselves can often act as filters, blocking out sensory inputs from the world that might challenge or contradict them.
For example, if you believe you are not capable of success, you might ignore or downplay positive feedback, opportunities, or signs of growth. These stories are like mental blinders, keeping you stuck in a limited version of reality that doesn’t reflect the full picture.
This mental framework doesn’t just stop at self-perception. It influences our thoughts, feelings, and even our behaviors. In doing so, we build walls between who we truly are and who we think we are. But here's the truth: you are not your stories.
You Are Not Your Stories
You are not your stories, you are the one who holds them
It's important to realize that we are not the stories we create or the roles we adopt. You are the context—the observer—of these stories. Just as you can read a book but not be the characters within it, you can experience your thoughts and feelings without letting them define you.
You might have a story about being shy or a story about not being good enough. But those are just thoughts—narratives formed over time—and they don’t capture the entirety of who you are. They are temporary, and they can change.
You Are Not Your Thoughts or Feelings
Similarly, you are not your thoughts or your emotions.
These are transient experiences that come and go. You might feel anxious one moment, confident the next, and indifferent later on. None of these emotions define you; they are merely passing through.
Think of yourself as the sky, and your thoughts and feelings as the weather. The weather changes—it rains, it shines, storms may come—but the sky remains. In the same way, you are the steady backdrop where thoughts and feelings happen, not the thoughts and feelings themselves.
Becoming the Observer
When you shift from identifying with your stories to becoming an observer of them, you unlock a sense of freedom. You can experience your emotions and thoughts without letting them control your actions or your sense of self. This perspective helps you engage with the world more fully, as you become more open to new experiences and possibilities.
So next time you find yourself caught in a narrative about who you are, remember: you are not the story. You are the one holding the story, the one experiencing life in all its complexity. And that awareness makes all the difference.
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