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How The Mind Shapes Our Lives - Part 2

Writer's picture: Emmanuel DanielEmmanuel Daniel

At The Harvest Clinic, we often hear clients say, "I just can't stop thinking about it."


Thoughts seem to govern our daily existence in profound ways, whether we're aware of it or not. From the mundane to the critical, what goes on in our minds shapes the way we perceive the world, how we interact with it, and ultimately, the course of our lives.

How the mind shapes our lives
How The Mind Shapes Our Lives

Our thoughts dominate our attention, capturing the majority of our mental space, and they dictate our actions, influencing how we respond to situations.


However, not all thoughts serve us well. Some keep us stuck in loops of stress, anxiety, and negativity. Understanding how certain types of thoughts take control can be the first step to reclaiming our mental freedom.



How The Mind Shapes Our Lives - Thoughts

We often unknowingly fuse with certain kinds of thoughts, letting them take the driver's seat. Here are four types that can have a significant impact on how we live our lives:


1. Judgmental Thoughts

Judgment is one of the most pervasive thought patterns we engage in. We label, criticize, blame, and evaluate not just others, but also ourselves. These judgments create walls between us and reality, shaping how we see situations and people, often leading to unnecessary conflict or self-doubt.


For instance, if you label yourself as “not good enough,” that thought can dominate your self-esteem and dictate behaviors that limit your potential. When we fuse with judgmental thoughts, we tend to see life through a lens of criticism, which only fosters more negativity.


2. Justification

Another common thought pattern is justification. Our minds naturally seek to protect our “self-story,” the narrative we tell ourselves about who we are. When something threatens that story, we may engage in reason-giving and justification to preserve our sense of self.


For example, if we’ve made a mistake, instead of accepting responsibility, we might justify our behavior to avoid feelings of guilt or shame. This might serve to protect us in the short term, but it often limits personal growth in the long run. By justifying actions rather than learning from them, we become stuck in old, unhelpful habits.


3. Time-Traveling

Our minds are constantly bouncing between the past and the future. We worry about things that haven’t happened yet and ruminate on what we can no longer change. This “time-traveling” pattern distracts us from the present moment and often exacerbates feelings of anxiety and stress.


When we fuse with thoughts about the future, we may over-plan, panic, or become paralyzed with fear. When we dwell on the past, it can lead to feelings of regret or shame. Learning to detach from these time-traveling thoughts can help us live more mindfully and with greater ease.


4. Rules

Many of us live by a set of internal “rules” — rigid guidelines about how we should behave, feel, or think. These rules are often inherited from our upbringing or society, and they operate as a powerful undercurrent of behavior.


While some rules can help guide us through life, tightly held rules can become restrictive. Thoughts like “I must always be perfect” or “I can never show weakness” can lead to unnecessary pressure, burnout, and emotional distress. Recognizing when we are fusing with these rules can help us challenge their validity and embrace more flexible, compassionate ways of thinking.


Your mind is shaping your life every day. But the good news? You have the power to shape your mind

Moving Towards Mindfulness

Becoming aware of the thoughts we tend to fuse with is the first step in freeing ourselves from their grip.


At The Harvest Clinic, we often guide clients through mindfulness-based practices, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), to help them observe their thoughts without getting caught up in them. Instead of allowing thoughts to dominate attention or dictate actions, we can learn to hold them lightly, making space for more intentional, values-driven living.


Ultimately, while we cannot control the presence of thoughts, we can change how we relate to them. By noticing when we are fusing with judgment, justification, time-traveling, or rules, we gain the ability to step back and make choices that align more closely with who we truly want to be.


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