What if the very same thing that has allowed you survive your life so far, is the same thing that prevents you from thriving?
Your mind is a powerful problem solving machine that helps you to survive, no doubt about it!
It's probably gotten you out of some tricky, challenging or potentially life threatening situations already.
Think about it... imagine you got stuck in your bedroom and the door to get out was jammed shut- what are some ways you can come up with to get yourself out?
There's probably a range of different answers - like open a window, break the door, call someone to help, and so on. Problem solved.
Situation survived. Thank you mind!
Our mind is actually a pretty fantastic tool to do this multiple times a day, every day.
Yet it often comes pre-configured with a default setting - to detect problems, and resolve them.
And most of the time that's great, but there is one problem.
In being really good at solving problems it is equally good at finding problems....and...If there aren't any real problems in your present moment, it can travel to your past to find old problems (also known as 'rumination) or it can travel to the future to see the things that could eventually be a problem for you (also known as 'worry)
With the mind's default setting in charge, our entire lifespan can become focussed on surviving a never ending list of problems, where we only take action to do something if and when it has become a problem.
Maybe you can see this in the way many of us look at our health today - for example:
When you get some concerning blood test results from your doctor, then you start to eat a more healthy and balanced diet.
When you notice yourself feeling a bit down, irritable, or anxious, then you practice some deep breathing or see a therapist.
If you're carrying a bit too much weight, then you start to exercise, monitor your calories or see a personal trainer.
So you can see that even the good things that we do can come from trying to solve a problem (in other words, to survive).
So what's wrong with a surviving mentality? Absolutely nothing in itself is wrong with surviving life's problems - it's very helpful!
But what would it look like if 100% of our behaviour in our entire lifetime was exclusively travelled on this road?
Perhaps you can get a feel for what I'm saying if you think about it this way - what would it look like if you make it to 100 years of age, and look back over your whole life from this ripe old age....and the best thing you can say is "phew! …. I did it! I got out of most of the problems that came my way in my life and survived it...nothing that bad happened"
This is what we can call an "AWAY" focus in life.
This is a life driven and dictated by our problem solving mind
This is a life where the absence of 'bad' has been confused with the presence of 'good'
This is the road of surviving -
not a bad road,
but not the only road either.
There is another very different road that we can call THRIVING
Broadly speaking - all our behaviour, everything we do can be classified as either moving towards or away. As long as we are living and acting then we are doing one of these things.
We are either doing something to move us AWAY from what we don't want OR we are doing things to move us TOWARDS what we want - the first is a surviving focus, the second is a thriving focus.
Two very different roads, and sadly, one seems to often become the road less travelled.
Not many of us really realize just how much of our actions everyday are being driven by an 'away' orientation of avoiding what we don't want (e.g. judgement from others, inadequacy, fear, a lack of control or rejection) rather than pursuing what we do want (connection, authenticity, courage, contributing, inspiring or creating).
We can exercise, to avoid looking bad
We can push ourselves to strive and achieve highly, to avoid feeling inadequate
We can please others, to avoid rejection
We can avoid expressing our needs, to avoid confrontation
We can enter or remain in a relationship, to avoid being lonely
The list goes on,
and on
and on...
Even the very good things we do, can be undermined by an 'AWAY' foundation of surviving life.
The road of SURVIVING is helpful, and safe, but the scenery can get a bit dull after a while, particularly if it's the only road we know to travel on every day. But there is another road we can also take on some days, the THRIVING road. Maybe it's not as safe as the other road but it sure has some really beautiful scenery and I reckon there are some pretty amazing memories to be made on that one.
So if I've lost you somewhere along the way I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes, but in summary...The THRIVING road begins when we start to do things, not because of something we want to AVOID, but rather because of something we want to PURSUE.
This is why I wanted to create the THRIVE program. - I'm hoping that we can start to see life as more than something to get through safely, and begin by looking at our HEALTH this way.
Seeing that good physical health is about more than just reducing symptoms. Instead, it's about moving towards caring for and nourishing the vessel you live in.
Seeing that good mental health is about more than learning ways to feel less anxious, sad or depressed. Instead, it's about knowing what matters to you, and building your ability to move towards this, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. .
And finally, to see good fitness is about more than just losing unwanted weight or belly fat. Instead, it's about investing intentionally in maintaining and increasing the capacity of your body to move to its best capacity.
And doing all of this because it's important to you... that's why.
So that's why this program is called THRIVE .
Wouldn't it be nice if we started to try the other road a bit more often, even if it's just to get a taste for what it feels like.
P.S And do you know what the the really interesting thing is? As you focus more on thriving, the list of things you thought you had to avoid actually starts to change in ways you didn't know were possible when you were trying to avoid them...
Our THRIVE Program
If something in this article sounds like it resonates with you then I invite you to start with our THRIVE PROGRAM where we work on Nutrition, Exercise and Mental Wellness from this perspective.
In this program you will work with experienced and registered professionals who all share this vision, including:
Qualified Integrative General Practitioner (GP)
Qualified Nutritionist & Naturopath
Qualified Clinical and Registered Psychologist
Qualified Fitness Trainers
We can put this stuff off for years but myself and the team would really value the opportunity to work with you, even for a short while, to change the reset the compass, refocus your eyes, and mobilize your feet in the right direction, for the right reasons. Please visit www.harvestclinic.com.au/thrive for more information and to register. Or please contact us at: Email: hello@harvestclinic.com.au Phone: 1300 311 591